There is nothing wrong with the planet!

This is George Carlin on “Saving the Planet”, I couldn’t resist sharing it. What a wonderful philosophy ! Never happened to see “Saving the Planet” from this angle until I saw this guy on You tube. Since then, I am accountable for nearly half of total 3 million views 🙂

Here, the video and complete transcript (©George Carlin himself)

You got people like this around you? Country is full of them now! People walking around all day long, every minute of the day — worried about everything! Worried about the air, worried about the water, worried about the soil. Worried about insecticides, pesticides, food additives, carcinogens; worried about radon gas, worried about asbestos. Worried about saving endangered species.

Let me tell you about endangered species, all right? Saving endangered species is just one more arrogant attempt by humans to control Nature! It’s arrogant meddling! It’s what got us into trouble in the first place! Doesn’t anybody understand that? Interfering with Nature! Over 90 percent.. over… way over 90 percent of all the species that have ever lived on this planet, ever lived, on this planet are gone. Whissssshht! They are extinct!

We didn’t kill them all.

They just… disappeared! That’s what Nature does! They disappear these days at the rate of 25 a day, and I mean regardless of our behavior. Irrespective of how we act on this planet, 25 species that were here today, will be gone tomorrow! Let them go… gracefully! Leave Nature alone! Haven’t we done enough?

We’re so self-important. So self-important! Everybody’s going to save something now. “Save the trees; save the bees; save the whales; save those snails.” And the greatest arrogance of all, “Save the planet.” What? Are these fucking people kidding me? Save the planet? We don’t even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We haven’t learned how to care for one another, we’re gonna save the fucking planet?

I’m getting tired of that shit. Tired of that shit. Tired! I’m tired of fucking Earth Day! I’m tired of these self-righteous environmentalists; these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren’t enough bicycle paths. People trying to make the world safe for their Volvos. Besides, environmentalists don’t give a shit about the planet. They don’t care about the planet. Not in the abstract they don’t. Not in the abstract they don’t. You know what they’re interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. They’re worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn’t impress me.

Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet. Nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine. The people are fucked. Difference. Difference! The planet is fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. Been here four and a half billion years. Did you ever think about the arithmetic? The planet has been here four and a half billion years. We’ve been here, what? A hundred thousand? Maybe two hundred thousand? And we’ve only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. And we have the conceit to think that somehow we’re a threat? That somehow we’re gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that’s just a-floatin’ around the sun?

The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through all kinds of things worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles; hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors; worlwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages… And we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet… the planet… the planet isn’t going anywhere. we are!

We’re going away. Pack your shit, folks. We’re going away. And we won’t leave much of a trace, either. Thank God for that. Maybe a little styrofoam. Maybe. A little styrofoam. The planet will be here and we’ll be long gone. Just another failed mutation. Just another closed-end biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet will shake us off like a bad case of fleas. A surface nuisance.

You wanna know how the planet is doing? Ask those people at Pompeii, who are frozen into position from volcanic ash, “How the planet’s doing?” You wanna know if the planet’s all right, ask those people in Mexico City or Armenia or a hundred other places buried under thousands of tons of earthquake rubble, if they feel like a threat to the planet this week. Or how about those people in Kilowaia, Hawaii, who built their homes right next to an active volcano, and then wonder why they have lava in the living room.

The planet will be here for a long, long — long— time after we’re gone, and it will heal itself; it will cleanse itself, because that’s what it does. It’s a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover; the earth will be renewed; and, if it’s true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new pardigm: the Earth plus plastic! The Earth doesn’t share our prejudice towards plastic. Plastic came out of the Earth. The Earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children. Could be the only reason the Earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn’t know how to make it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old philosophical question, “Why are we here?” “Plastic! Assholes.”

So! So, the plastic is here, our job is done, we can be phased out now. And I think that it has already started already, don’t you? I think, to be fair, the planet probably sees us as a mild threat. Something to be dealt with. And I am sure the planet will defend itself in the manner of a large organism, like a beehive or an ant colony, and muster a defense. I am sure the planet will think of something. What would you do if you were the planet trying to defend against this pesky, troublesome species? “Let’s see… What might… Hmm.. Viruses! Viruses might be good. They seem vulnerable to viruses. And, uh…viruses are tricky, always mutating and forming new strains whenever a vaccine is developed. Perhaps, this first virus could be one that compromises the immune system of these creatures. Perhaps a human immunodeficiency virus, making them vulnerable to all sorts of other diseases and infections that might come along. And maybe it could be spread sexually, making them a little reluctant to engage in the act of reproduction.”

Well, that’s a poetic note. And it’s a start. And I can dream, can’t I? See I don’t worry about the little things: bees, trees, whales, snails. I think we’re part of a greater wisdom than we will ever understand. A higher order. Call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron.” The Big Electron…whoooa. Whoooa. Whoooa. It doesn’t punish; it doesn’t reward; it doesn’t judge at all. It just is. And so are we. For a little while.

Thanks for being here with me for a little while tonight!

Pressure on Indian ecosystem

I recall our geography text books were bragging about Indian ecosystems, probably they still are. There were pages of description on how western ghats and north eastern forests are bringing balance to environment. May be it was true a century back, not now. This one is straight from NASA, you can see blisters there right on India’s face.

The map shows the pressure on local ecosystems, but not per capita use. For example, in the United States, each person uses 5.94 metric tons of carbon (vegetation) per year, while in South-central Asia, people use 1.23 metric tons per year. However, the United States produces more than it requires, so the ratio between usage and vegetation is low. South-central Asia, on the other hand, uses less per person, but it has a high population that collectively require more carbon than the land produces, and so must import products from other regions.

Source :

We all have a thing called…Internet!

Argos prints millions of its catalogues twice a year. Each one of those weigh around 2kgs has more than 1500 pages! A council says, if we collect all of them together it would looks like stack of 10000 double-decker buses. It’s not difficult to calculate the number of trees getting cut for this very luxury.

Agreed that a percentage of those coloured pages are recycled-papers and a percentage of catalogues goes for recycling. But before that, I don’t understand need of printing these, in first place! It’s UK, and almost everyone has internet access, and it’s obviously easy to search through internet portal rather than a book. Remember, books cannot have any “sort by” or “filter”.

The same (or bigger) is the story with Yellow pages. What’s up with these guys? Do they sign a legally binding agreement with government, that they will fell so many trees and distribute every human with a useless catalogue?

Yellow pages

Plant philosophy!

Cotton has designed (itself) in such a way, when it matures on the tree, it explodes to spread its seeds as far as possible. It relies on the wind to ensure its off-springs glided their way to far location than the original tree. With this it achieves two (or may be more) laws of nature. One being, the new plants grown out of those seeds don’t have to fight with its siblings, for nutritions. Other, it helps a particular species to overproduce, optimally, since it is spread across wider geography.

Thanks for my high school teacher for that philosophy, for the questions. I still don’t know the answers. How can a plant think!? How can flower can design itself so beautiful that (plus some honey) it can attract bees to achieve selfish goal? How can coconut trees (wild) get their selves grown near water, so that fallen coconuts are made to flow somewhere else, to spread family? How cotton and few other seeds are designed to glide in air? How plants have understanding on the help it can take from wind, water, insects, birds and animals.

Well, two paragraphs!!, I call it “all the Botany I know” :-). Well, people did not accept my above philosophy as answer to few questions in Biology exams 🙂 . They were looking for some Angiosperm and Gymnosperms. So I decided not to by-heart them any further, I am biology illiterate. 🙂

Any ways, below is one of those plants I believe. When matured they are going to explode those seeds at least a meter afar. That’s my guess, any one with more Botany knowledge are free to dispute, which I believe all of you.

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Why Indians weigh less?

Ever since I came to UK I am overweight, and never had a clue to reason it. So, I used to accuse Dominos and McDonalds, poor fellows!!. But, I was of normal weight even if I was eating these guys back in India. Also, I saw couple of public awareness adverts from these food chains, explaining why they are “healthy”, convincing and compelling (sarcasm intended).

So for a long time I did not have anyone to accuse, till this scientific map came along. It says, if you are in India , you will weigh less! Its gravity, not poverty! and it’s official.

Indian gravity map
Gravity map - India

image via dailymail

Reddish means more gravitational pull and blueish means its comparatively feeble.


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