Shruti Haasan and Suriya hire a rickshaw in Chennai and driver does a “meter down”!!. Please read it again, .. no hold it, let me type it again (it
Ezhaam arivu - through wikipedia
feels good) Auto driver turns meter ON!!! There. That should’ve been my first clue!
As you already might have guessed, I hated 7aum Arivu. Disappointing. Although I am glad I chose this movie over Ra.one. That would have been a suicide. (BTW, Shahrukh Khan came to my bathroom, while I was bathing, asking me to watch his Ra.One. !!! Did that happen with you or is it just me?)
Back to “the seventh sense”, I promised my friends that I would list 10 negative about this movie, against 5 of the good ones. So here you go.
Shruti Haasan: she is an excellent actor in a world where Rahul Gandhi is an excellent statesman. Kapish?
Direction: Ghajini had memento as reference. This one had nothing to inspire from. So, no wonder movie derailed after first 20 minutes. This director stretched one hour story like a chewing gum, threw common sense out of window and on top of it – he took my money!
Stunts: I can’t believe why our directors don’t have any idea on what Kung Fu is. They simply had to pick up any Chinese/Thai movie, except “crouching tiger..”. But looks like they checked only that movie, so kung fu now is surfing on bamboo trees.
SCI-FI: Flying objects without any explanation does not make any movie a sci-fi (nor historic), as this proudly claims. Bunch of kids just out of their diapers, tweak a guy’s a DNA to make him a superhuman, and you want me to believe it!?!
We laugh at Kyapten Vijaykanth typing on Windows media player, but we are OK with Sruthi compares two DNA in microscope! We laugh when Balayya diffuses a bomb with On/Off button, but we are Okay with Dong lee placing a Jammer on top of the car for public display (BTW which says “Jammer switched On”).
As usual, unbelievably stupid “science”.
Hypnotism: Really! Are you kidding me? Does anyone know what is it? Somebody please explain this director what it is, I think he believes it to be something similar to “statue” game we played in 4th grade.
Romance: 90 minutes with 3 songs. I turned believer for a moment and asked “God, what have I ever done to get this kind of treatment!”. There is absolutely no justification for wasting 90 minutes on pointless romance when you claim movie is action/sci-fi or whatever it is.
Flaws: Millions of them, for naming one – Shruthi&co don’t have money to hire a monkey, but she conducts DNA test for an entire village in Kanchipuram! That’s smart economics.
Bio war: Its basically conspired by 6 Chinese officials plotted in broken English, even though they know mandarin very fluently. Basically they want to attack India through a virus in a month so. It’s the same paranoid theory few Pakistanis think Indians plotting it (or Palestinians thinking Israelites, and so on )
Songs & dance: Below average pointless and they were “inserted”
Historic Accuracy: Is Bhodhidharma father of Chinese medicine and Kung fu? Movie says I should be ashamed if I don’t know this, Now I am back at my desk and I can’t find reference to this. Can you please help me out?
Comedy: Alright! Are we banking on retarded and dwarfs?
I have high hopes on you guys! If any one of you (for now) manages to establish a secular democracy, I will throw a party. BTW Sudan party is confirmed 🙂
Ophiuchus will be in newspaper columns soon! Are you worried? Did you lose your sleep over it, yet? Do you feel betrayed that your whole life you were told about (yourself) and now you are not! Actually I don’t give a rat’s ass on this new change in zodiac, just that I need to convey few long pending victory laughs, to those friends who called it part of Astronomy. Eee Ha ha ha (Amrish Puri style)!
Right, back to the topic. This is what happened recently: Few astronomers finally found some time to have a look at this stuff called Astrological (the non-science part of stars, constellation stuff) zodiac signs. They found discrepancy and their calls on Astrology are:
a) Zodiac constellations (news paper ones, not scientific) were designed by Babylonians based on placement of constellation couple of thousand years back, and earth axis changed since then making the whole Zodiac system inaccurate. So, could you please correct it? Enough fooling people!
b) Are still stuck in 12? We told you 13 is the number for the boundaries. So now, add it. The name’s Ophiuchus, “The Ophiuchus”. And to embarrass you, for making him wait 3000 years to get into the committee, he will have a strange sign, wrestling a snake between his legs! (Really! what kind of pervert can come up with that!)
c) Could you please (I added this) stop linking these constellation with personal traits? We know you pulled this stuff from your ass.
This was the story, and there was panic from every corner of the world. It’s fun to watch J
General public feeling betrayed. Let me remind you, betrayed people tweet in block letters! Astrologers panicking, planning on how to pull together some “personal traits” for this new Ophiuchus guy. It’s been a couple of thousands years since they did something like that.
Indian astrologers must be in bigger dilemma, not sure if they plan to copy the Zodiac system from west once again, which wasn’t synced since they first copied it from Greek. Sure its going to be fun to watch astrologers come up with excuses, they need to answer for all the marriages they broke and made based on Zodiac.
South Sudan voting for its independence, and we will have a secular country in six months, in one month we will come to know about it! I see it as India-Pakistan of Africa with one country with single defined state religion/language while the other being multicultural and secular (and corrupt). Whatever it may be, I congratulate south Sudan (or the name they call it in two months) all the very best.
All southerners need to do is to turn up at least 60% and vote at least 51%, and boom! There is very little chance that South will vote for unity (after all things happened) that would be unfortunate. Good news is, so far they dint find anyone who wants to vote for unity (look at us! Celebrating defeat of unity 🙂 ). There is also a tiny chance that north will deny the independence for south (as happened in Burmese election). But for the time being let’s not put this idea into their head.
I will be celebrating it with a Champagne, in February, so will billion others around the world. This probably will be most celebrated divorce ever, for a million reasons. A small fraction of those million reasons I can think of are:
Peace! After couple of million killed over couple of decades.
Home rule, spending its own money on their own country!
There will be roads, schools and hospitals in south! Which rest of the world built centuries ago? (Fact: First tar road out of any town in South Sudan being laid in 2011)
Multi-cultural! Good to have no dominant culture which decides how rest of the tribes can be flogged!
There is international community to help newborn country. BTW Did I mention George Clooney is my favourite actor?
Once advice for South, don’t be precious on Abyei region. We have a similar situation here, we call it Kashmir.