My experiments with perfume salesmen

Perfume samplers are perhaps a most annoying bunch of salesmen out there. They are like urban cowboys with a set of perfume bottles in their holster and will shoot at a sight like dirty harry. I can not think of a time when I was in a mall and did not get ambushed by this tribe. It is not seldom I ended up buying one of those expensive perfumes, plus came out smelling like a bouquet.

My sympathies are with all those who got scammed in this manner this, welcome to “I got tricked into buying perfume I didn’t like” club. We meet on Thursdays.

For others, I dare you to try once. Go to any mall in India, and this is how the whole process goes:

joey tribbiani as perfume sampler
joey tribbiani as perfume sampler
  • He will start with if you like is “Eau de Toilette” or some other phrases you do not even recognize. That should be your first clue, run for your life. If you easily impressed types and impressed with his knowledge on a few European phrases, you are trapped. Simple psychology is if you do not understand what is asking, most probably you will stick with what he recommends.
  • Then he will ask which flavor of perfume you like, fruity, nutty, or shitty. Do not answer that โ€“ it’s a rhetorical question. He will pull one sample no matter whatever you answer. Do not get scared, not at least โ€“ not yet.
  • Then, like a ninja pulls a ninja star, he will pull one sampling strip. He does it so fast you will tend to think its magic. If you must ask, go ahead, and enquire if he does birthday parties.
  • What he does next is something amusing. He will pose like Usain Bolt like he did after winning gold. Or maybe it is T’ai chi, you will never know. Anyways, He will hold the paper strip in one hand and bottle in other with an appropriately calculated distance.
  • Then he’ll spray sample into the air, more precise than sparkplug of a four-stroke engine! in slow motion. I was like โ€“ OMG spray it already!
  • Before it disperses into the air, he will wave the testing strip where he sprayed. It is like a WOW! This is that exact moment you will think this guy really knows what he is doing, and perhaps did graduate at the top of fragrance sampling class.
  • And just when you think he will give it to you to sniff, wait, there are more steps! How else would this poor fellow justify overpriced liquid? He will blow air on that perfume strip before handing over to you. Do not be surprised if it smells like onion-fish fry he had that afternoon.
  • There is more to the procedure if you challenge his choice of perfume. He will make you smell some coffee beans. Then the process repeats from the beginning.
  • Finally, only four thousand saar! You pay, then you go home having spent entire days budget in one counter,

Let me know your thoughts.

13 thoughts on “My experiments with perfume salesmen

  1. This is me and my sister in the perfume section of supermarkets, only we do the sampling willingly by ourselves ..always leave smelling like onions and lemons and everything perfumes are supposed to make you not smell like๐Ÿ˜†

    Liked by 1 person

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